Early dating rules for women dating disabled men
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The dissatisfaction they feel in their relationships is often the stressor that led to their drug abuse in the first place.
“Women in early recovery often choose abusive men because they seem in control, while the women feel out of control in their own lives.
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“In treatment, people learn new skills that need to be practiced before they are able to make them part of their daily life without returning to old patterns,” she explains.
We teach people how to treat us, so with longer term recovery, we are going to demand to be treated differently than when we are new to recovery.” Recovery is hard work that requires a full-time commitment.
Returning to daily life without the security of being able to use drugs as a coping mechanism can be terrifying, particularly when drug cravings and triggers to use set in.
Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.
Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.
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“If they start dating too soon, they are likely to choose someone who is emotionally less mature, as they themselves are, than if they waited a year.” People tend to choose partners who are at their same emotional maturity level.