Dooce and cami dating
I initially typed “lived with a man who” but went back and changed it because I remembered that while he did move his stuff in, he moved it out again in the middle of the night while I was sleeping because “shit got too real” and he was convinced that I was trying to steal his favorite lamp. He had to have really screwed the pooch on this one. People who hate her are legion and they are all salivating over her suffering.
I had no interest in his stupid lamp, but that relationship was so messed up, when I finally broke it off, I DID steal his precious lamp. Jon Armstrong has my sympathy, but at the same time, I have to wonder how bad he fucked up. All he will say is that it’s hard to live with someone who doesn’t tell you you’ve been doing it wrong for years, and then when she finally tells you, it’s too late to fix it.
I’ve been following Jon Armstrong’s blog since he and Heather Dooce Armstrong split up. I feel for the guy, but that’s because I have read her blog for years and she seems like she’d be impossible to live with. I’m not sure what comes first, the writing or the suicidal impulses, but the two frequently go together. I always thought it would be him cheating on me, and not the other way around.
Today, he wrote that he will not publish any comments that discuss Heather and if anyone writes about her he will delete those comments because she “deserves” that. Medication helps, but mentally ill people are still challenging to have relationships with. All of a sudden, forgiveness seems like the way to go in that situation, you know? She spelled out “jerk” with alphabet blocks and balanced them on the head of her dog and took a picture. Heather is tired of reading all the negative shit out there and wants to say “fuck you” to all of you. Jon loved her and stuck by her through hell and back by her own account. He brought their infant to the mental hospital to visit her every day. When she was better and they had built her business together, they had a second daughter. I didn’t follow her blog faithfully, so I don’t know how things went after baby #2, but I know she didn’t wind up in the looney bin that time. A home so big, they needed cell phones provided by sponsor Verizon just to keep in touch with each other inside their home. When Heather got attacked for blogging about her “life changing” trip to Bangladesh, Jon wrote passionately and eloquently to defend her.
So when Odie sits down and says about our daughter “I’ll bet she watches 20 hours a week of television” I hear “You are a shit mother.
All you do is let our daughter watch television.” What he meant was “I am a shit father because I don’t do more fun stuff with my kid.” Or maybe he just meant she watches 20 hours a week of television. If you had asked young single me how I felt about a future husband who loved our children more than me, I probably would have bristled.
Jon doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would begrudge Heather her success. I have a friend who once told me that when she gets angry she name-calls, yells, and throws things. ” It makes me love him even more that he’s so good with them. I would have never in a million years pegged her for a screamer nor prone to violence. ” the answer is NEVER “No, honey, I have to work” or “I have to send emails” or “Sorry, baby, but Daddy’s busy.” The answer is always “YES! She is the sweetest, most caring, giving woman I know. I’m pretty open about my marriage here, but there is a lot you don’t know. One of my big struggles as a wife is that I come from a family where there is always a hidden agenda. He is totally not in the petty backstabbing phase yet. I once dated with a man who had bipolar disorder (once called manic depression) who was also an alcoholic and an unemployed wake and baker. She said that she is so healthy that her therapist pronounced her cured and may even be moonwalking with joy and approval as I sit here typing. I don’t say “us” because I’m not sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for her to have a breakdown like the rest of them. And when she got out, he didn’t divorce her and take their kid. His love and respect for her shine through in his writing. He admitted in another post that he didn’t want this separation. The world isn’t as black and white as I once thought.