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“Despite my best friend being extremely religious and my family being fairly religious, I had a very toxic relationship with religion when I met my partner in high school,” says Stephanie, an atheist.
“I felt it was inferior to atheism, close-minded, and overall a negative influence in the world.
I’m more liberal now, and a lot of my friends act like I’m crazy, especially about abortion issues and gay rights.
But I think more or less it’s a shift for good.” Many nonreligious partners bring a painful history with religion into the relationship, including some deep resentments.
The rest offered not only benefits, but many of the same benefits, over and over.
“It’s opened up a lot of discussions, and we’ve learned a lot about each other through conversations about our core beliefs.” Others say the difference has increased their mutual trust.
Through exploring my husband’s [religious] belief system, as well as my own humanism, I’ve been able to let go of a lot of the resentment I was holding against religion.
I’ve reconciled with myself that people express abstract concepts through religion in good, helpful ways and in bad, harmful ways.
“I’m sure religious differences sometimes tear relationships apart, but ours has only made us trust one another more,” says Amanda, an atheist married to a Baptist.
“I grew up Baptist, but now I am a closeted atheist in the South.
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She makes me think first about whether I am expressing the true heart of Islam in what I say.